I'm Lovin' It

McDonald's is so cute. I was just reading about their green efforts at the same time Kirstie started drinking a Coke out of a Styrofoam cup the size of her torso. Aw!

DON'T Ride Your Bike to Work Week

Last week was Ride Your Bike to Work Week. And even though I live 0.8 miles from work and my sister Diana has me pegged as the laziest person ever for not walking or riding my bike there daily, I refused to take part in this. This is partly because I give myself a full 15 minutes to get ready in the morning and leaving earlier would mean maybe only 10 minutes of getting ready and let's be honest, how could one manage that?!

But it was mostly because a week like this just OOZES with liberal tomfoolery. So riding your bike is good for you, I get it. And I actually do like riding my bike! But I don't need Michelle Obama or Al Gore or any other environmental irritant telling me to bike to work so that I move more and pollute less.

Here are five reasons why you should NOT ride your bike to work:

1. Bikes don't burn oil. Yawn.

2. One word: SWEAT. Would you like it if YOUR coworkers marinated in hot, moist clothes all day?

3. You get just as much fresh air when you roll your windows down in your car, but you're just sitting there and not exerting yourself. Perfect!

4. Small seat = wedgie central.

5. Riding your bike leaves behind absolutely no carbon footprint. And that's just boring!

Global Colding

Remember that adorable story about the Earth getting hot?

33 degrees on May 2nd? Call Al Gore, it's WAY. TOO. HOT.!!!!!!!!!!!

Like REALLY, REALLY HOT!

Snow, sleet, and freezing rain in May = opposite of global warming.  

Maybe we need a few more holes in the ozone layer!

Winner!!

And the winner of the giveaway is...

BETH KESKIMAKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy your organic cherry pomegranate toaster pastries and your delish cherry pop tarts! I can only imagine which taste better :) I will deliver them to you faster than you can say "high-fructose corn syrup!" :)

I'm no litterbug!

Sometimes, when people hear that I am the opposite of green, they automatically think that I spend my time pouring oil in Lake Superior and stuffing turtles and seagulls into those plastic six-pack rings. And if I happen to comment disdainfully about trash on the ground, people get confused, because they assume I throw pop cans out my car window at small woods animals and then laugh hysterically.

But guess what? Littering drives me batty!

Before any of you sign me up to work for Greenpeace, let me explain. Littering is unsightly, but in my opinion, it's more about being hopelessly lazy. Because if you can't hold on to your Jimmy Johns cup or gum wrapper until you can throw it away in a trash can, you have a laziness problem, not an environmental problem! I mean for realz, I love plastic, but I love it more in the GARBAGE and in LANDFILLS than next to my bare feet on the beach.

The town that I live in is quite possibly the most beautiful in Michigan. Everything about it is positively delish. And just this weekend, to Al Gore's delight (because wah, wah, he just WASN'T getting enough attention with all that snow this winter!) all of the snow melted and spring arrived. And this is what happens when all that snow melts...

Oodles and oodles of trash, making an appearance after being thrown and hidden in all those snow piles. And even I can admit that Marquette is way too beautiful for this junk to be lurking around in plain sight!

My grandma used to tell me that every time you pick something off the ground that shouldn't be there, you send someone to heaven. She's such a dear and I love her so much, so I decided to think of her and send some people to heaven today.

And it was kind of fun!

 Just don't expect me to hug any trees anytime soon. Because that would be stupid.

Giveaway!

I've been wanting to do a giveaway contest for awhile now, but I had to think really hard about what the prize would be. A gift card to BP? A stuffed sea turtle? A lifetime supply of Saran Wrap? Ice cream made out of stevia and breast milk?

I really wanted to do the last one, but I didn't know where to get the breast milk.

Anyway, I decided to start small and do a food giveaway. The giveaway will include one box of Kellogg's Cherry Pop-Tarts and one box of Nature's Path Organic Cherry Pomegranate toaster pastries, which seem like they're just normal Pop-Tarts because they have frosting and sprinkles and everything. But if the company peppers the box with words like "non-GMO" and "nature" then they MUST be good for you!

Here's how the giveaway works: if you would like a chance to win, write two things in the comments section of my blog: a.) your name so I have a way to identify you, and b.) what your fave sugary treat is. If you say you don't like sugar and would rather eat bran muffins with flaxseed, I'll assume Michelle Obama or Mayor Bloomberg found my blog and Pop-Tarts will be the next thing to be banned in New York. But not the organic ones.

I'll keep the contest open for one week. Next Thursday, I'll draw the winner and send these babies to you (I don't think anyone from North Korea or Kazakhstan is reading my blog, but just in case, the winners must live in the United States).

And remember... your chances at winning are fab, considering I don't have a large readership and I offend people often. Good luck!

Will your delish Pop-Tarts and okay-tasting organic toaster pastries come in an eco-friendly canvas bag from Target!?

Or in PLASTIC?!!!
 You'll have to win to find out! :)

Earth Day Art